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So I have this friend I want to punch in the face. Not because she’s an asshole, rather because she is so damn beautiful. Seriously, she’s  flawless, and I hate her perfect guts!

The other day, I absolutely flipped my lid in the bathroom. I whipped my makeup across the room, which, in hindsight, was incredibly stupid because I had to clean it all up. Anyway, I lost it because I am hopeless when it comes to cosmetic-anything. I’m lucky if my eyebrows are on straight (fyi, I don’t have eyebrows).I have no time to put any real effort into doing myself up, and that’s where this asshole flawless friend comes in.

I was ogling her perfection on , when I remembered that she is a makeup artist! I knew I couldn’t be the only time-strapped failure in the mascara department, so I asked her to write up a few tips for us busy moms. She graciously obliged (fact: she isn’t just gorgeous; she’s the sweetest woman you’ll ever meet—yeah, feel free to hate on her with me) P.S Tawni, I actually love the fuck out of you—but you suck!

So without further ado, here are Tawni’s tips for getting your face on (nicely) in 15 minutes or less!


When it comes to being a parent, it’s all about the “firsts.” The first steps, the first teeth, and the first interaction with a toy – the firsts are always a joy to witness. That’s why you want to take the necessary steps toward creating a safe environment that can facilitate your little one’s explorations.

During the First Steps

The first steps are the most crucial moment in a baby’s development, which is why you should take every precaution. Most experts agree that a baby’s first steps should be done in bare feet so the child’s bare soles can get a better feel for the floor. This also helps promote strength in the baby’s foot muscles. You should also practice somewhere soft like a carpeted area of the home.

Your baby should also refrain from carrying any toys or bottles during a walk. If he or she trips, the object in hand could injure the face. Also, just remember that once your little one masters the walk, they will have a much higher reach, which means you’ll need to step up your baby proofing efforts.

During the First Teeth

You have a little ways to go between the first steps and the first teeth, but it’s a topic worth touching upon. Surprisingly enough, many parents do not consider the first teeth all that important – after all, they’re just baby teeth.

However, taking care of these teeth is incredibly crucial to your child’s future dental development. The first thing your baby will want to do when he or she starts teething is chew and you need to make sure all the right things are within his or her grasp. Making sure that bite-sized objects are out of reach is very important during this stage.

As for remedies, teething necklaces work wonders but there are other solutions. For when the pain gets to be a little too much, things like a chilled washcloth or topical medications can be applied.

During the First Interaction with a Toy

Supervision is crucial.

You should avoid toys with small parts and, when it’s playtime, be sure and clear out a space for your baby free of anything that could cause an incident. Television remotes, Bluetooth devices, coffee coasters – to a child, they are all toys but you know better and you should keep these separate from the actual things you want your child to interact with.

Safe Home, Safe Baby

That pretty much covers safely facilitating your child’s explorations and firsts, so let’s spend a little bit of time talking about making the home a little safer.

Right off the bat, I would recommend a home security system. There are plenty of different systems and providers on the market that all offer reasonable and competitive prices. Most, like , are easy enough to track down online so, if the baby is napping, take a couple minutes and shop around.

Dogs can also improve the safety of a home and many different breeds are great with children, but you want to make sure you do your homework first before bringing one into the home. Some breeds are not as patient as others and some are simply too big for their, and the baby’s, own good.

And remember, raising a child is all about the discovery and the journey – for both the baby and the parents. Make sure your home is safe enough while you and your loved one experience the joys of your baby’s firsts.

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