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Piggle’s tantrums have reached incredible proportions! In previous posts, I’ve stated that he fights me on everything…I was gravely mistaken. I’m not sure what the boy is trying to achieve, but the chaos and utter destruction he leaves in his wake is giving Hurricane Sandy a run for her money.

For the first time since becoming a mother, I am truly at a loss for what to do. My heart says, “Don’t give him what he wants…he’ll smell weakness forever!”

My mind says, “I’m about 2 seconds from breaking; figure out what that child wants, and fucking give it to him!”

Therein, however, lies the problem: I have absolutely no effing idea what he wants. To give you an idea, I offered the boy some ice cream…clearly that makes me the most awful parent in the history of ever because he took one look at it, and blew his top.

I

that his new, favorite word is “No.” No inflection, no emotion; just a flat “No“, which has shown me exactly where I rank in the grand scheme of things. Everything is “no”, including things he loves—which is making my distraction tactics useless!

When I was a kid, adults would constantly tell me they loved me but didn’t have to like me. I always found this confusing because I believed the two went hand in hand. The part of me that hasn’t quite matured, still wants to punch those people for being hypocritical idiots, and the other part is jumping on the bandwagon.

I love my son. I could never say it enough. Right now, however, I absolutely cannot stand him. He is turning our lives upside down and making it hell to be in his general vicinity. I have never disliked him more.

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Alas, the fateful day is upon us. Piggle is officially in the Terrible Twos.

The boy has learned how to say ‘no’.

I don’t think any word in the English language has ever made me want to scoop my eyeballs out with a rusty spoon more. Unlike every other phrase he’s ever uttered, this one wasn’t even cute the first time. I can’t even begin to find the necessary expression to convey how much I despise it; the only thing that comes to mind is “shut the hell up!”

It’s times like this when I regret having a kid. Not because I don’t love him, but because I was stupid enough to believe said child wouldn’t inherit my ridiculous stubbornness. That, and I am having an extremely difficult time finding a circus willing to take him!

If the next time you see me, I’m in a straitjacket, bald with empty eye sockets, you’ll know why.

We all need a hug sometimes!!

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