Why Mothers Will Be The First to Time Travel

Milestones…those asshole guidelines that doctors, online forums, and nosy old ladies at the grocery store shove down your throat. If all babies are so different in when they’ll meet each goal, why not eradicate the whole shebang and just tell mothers that, one day, your kid will do more than stare at you and drool. It’d be a lot less worrisome! I know I can’t be the only one who cheers on a late achievement, while simultaneously thinking in the back of my mind, “Thank God, he’s not retarded!”

Since about 10 months old, I have been trying to encourage Piggle to walk on his own. I did everything from gentle encouragement to standing him up and quickly running away (turns out, babies don’t learn to walk the same way they learn to swim). Well, after four and a half months, he finally decided that it wasn’t going to kill him to let go of my hand! My back is starting to straighten after many weeks spent hunched over like an 86 year old man, but boy, am I regretting pushing him to walk.

Not only is this child now fearless (I’ve had more heart attacks than a 400lb elderly woman with high blood pressure), but my house went from looking ‘lived in’ to looking like a category 500000 tornado ripped through it. I can’t believe the things this boy gets into. I have pot lids in my bathtub, sponges in the fridge, toilet paper littering my bedroom like a sugar-free candy house on Halloween…the list goes on. Funny, though; I’m normally one of those anal people who can’t see a crumb without going into total Martha Stewart mode, but now, I don’t give a damn. Not only is it redundant for me to even attempt to clean, but I actually get a kick out of Piggle’s redecoration. As much as I complain about his antics, though, I’m proud of him for figuring it out. Took him long enough…

What it boils down to, though, is that I’m starting to realize that he doesn’t need me as much as he used to. He went from being my tiny, squishy baby to a real person—overnight. Yes, I relish in the fact that I can actually finish a page of a book WHILE he’s awake, but I kind of miss being so heavily depended on. Sometimes, I don’t even know what to do with myself…hence, this blog…

[…] a mother, I have plenty to look forward to. From the basic milestones to the quirkier moments (i.e. poopy-fingerpainting), there is never a dull moment as a mommy. There […]

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