Open-Door Policy

Do you remember that glorious piss you took? You know, the one where the door was shut and locked, the water was running full blast, and the fan drowned out all noise deemed unnecessary for bowel voiding? Yeah, me neither…

I can’t recall the last time I went to the bathroom without an escort. I can’t even remember what it’s like to pee without a little demon curiously examining my lady bits. As much as I love Piggle, is it too much to ask to have a little privacy? I realize I signed up for  when I got pregnant, but this is ridiculous! For once, I would like to pull my pants down without a tiny person pointing to my la-la and asking, “Mama, wazzat?”

little while ago, while in the washroom, Piggle , and unfortunately, I’d been having a lazy week and hadn’t bothered to landscape. Well, this morning, he caught sight of it again, after I’d had a chance to deal with the disaster down there…he looked at ‘her’, looked up at me and said, “Mama, all gone?”

Why me?!

At 9 a.m., I was far from ready to explain that I am not European, and things in the downstairs department are apt to change frequently, as Mommy tends to get lazy…a lot.

Is it too much to ask to take a piss by myself, without needing to explain the birds and bees to someone who won’t even be having sex until he’s 86? I now fear going to the bathroom while he’s awake. I know it will always end in either awkward one-sided conversations or a stray tampon lodged in a nostril…either way, I can’t wait for the day when I can lock the door behind me.

You have just pretty much described my bathroom life time two (two little girls who are all up in my business all damn day).

I too don’t remember the last time used the bathroom all on my own.

Loved your post about this and could so totally relate (wish I didn’t but I do!).

Sorry you too are having a similar experience and if I knew how to take control over the bathroom sharing I would pass that information along to you, lol

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