Weaning Piggle is something I’ve never once considered. The vast majority of his life’s decisions are already made by me, so I figured I’d give him the option to decide when he was done with something. I was very firm in my ideals to do things at his own pace. That is, until breakfast yesterday morning. Not until he made such a ridiculous request, did I consider that the time had come to step in. As of today, we will be starting the weaning process.

It’s time for Piggle to say goodbye…to ketchup.

While I realize that ketchup is a staple in every child’s diet, Piggle’s obsession with it has become concerning—and gag-inducing. Yesterday’s incident involved a request for the goop with his yogurt. The tantrum that followed my refusal will go down in Piggle-history as the second most cataclysmic blow up we’ve yet seen. The only people I’ve ever seen react in such a way to being denied a desired substance are junkies—and even they couldn’t hold a candle to the boy’s explosion.

In that moment of pure toddler fury, I became aware of just how hooked on the damn stuff he is. Of course, I am completely to blame for first introducing him to it and then continuing to offer it at meal times. I can’t claim innocence in the matter, as I was the enabler, but in my defense, it was the only way he’d eat anything! In hindsight, though, that probably should have been my first addiction red flag.

Today was our first attempt at cutting ketchup out of his diet. He did have it once, with a grilled cheese, because I’m not a total asshole. So far, so good. He asked for it with dinner, and despite a minor scream-fest, I managed to hold my ground. An even prouder moment arose when I managed to come up with an alternative—in the middle of his fit!

Spaghetti sauce!

You see? Pure brilliance!

Now, you may be thinking that pasta sauce is not all that different than ketchup, but I make my own (and it’s frigging delicious), so it’s slightly better. Plus, ketchup has maggots in it. Google it; it’s a fact. Gross, right?

And so begins our journey to a Heinz-free house!

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