Innocent? Not bloody likely!
You know that moment when you realize you’ve been basking in peaceful silence for the past twenty minutes? Scary, isn’t it?
As mothers, we don’t rejoice when we can hear our own thoughts because, more often than not, that eerie quiet is simply the calm before the storm. Toddlers are noisy by nature. They were designed that way, so we’d be able to get shit done around the house, while ensuring they haven’t killed themselves or the family pet.
A lack of screeching and cacophony emanating from these wee beasts is usually a reason to panic. Either they’ve fallen asleep (ya, right), or more likely, they’ve found something fascinating (read: destructive) to occupy them.
While making lunch today, such a scenario took place in my living room. I foolishly assumed that The Wiggles would entertain him for the twenty minutes I’d be puttering around the kitchen. A girl can dream, right? Piggle took advantage of my trusting nature and complete lack of knowledge of basic knot techniques by having a swim…in the fish tank. Asshole.
Just as I was flipping the last of our Lilypad Pancakes (see
for recipe) onto a plate to cool, the stillness of the past quarter hour was shattered into a trillion tiny pieces.
It all happened so quickly! The splash, the scream (still haven’t figured out if it was Piggle or the fish), the crash, and the destruction of my underpants.
Wait! What do panties have to do with this? Everything, my friends. Everything.
As soon as I heard the water hit the floor, I bolted from the kitchen, and the devastation I was met with—along with the horrified look on the boy’s face—sent me into a hysterical fit of laughter…during which, I pissed myself.
Oh, the joys of motherhood.
Honestly, the fish tank…then asshole, then the picture of nemo and dory…just made my f***ing year. fantastic imagery. lol
Im definately loving these reads!
We are rooting for you mommy!
are the fish alright?
I stumbled upon your blog and though my own little demon is about five years post toddler-hood. I remember it clearly. You may be my new hero.